to elaborate, she's long gone...

and that's the end.

never again will i spend 7 hours a night in a smoke infested sports bar serving liquid poison and solid grease to at least 10 tabs at a time. 

gone are the days of feeling absurdly over-dressed in the middle of a line up of co-workers who feel saucy in fishnet shirts and neon bras.

never again will i wait on perverted, alcoholic, old men who must not have anything better to do 5 nights a week than make passes at me in between sports plays.

nor will i ever allow a customer (guy or girl) to grab me, hug me, kiss my hand, or touch my hair without my consent just because i'm afraid that standing up for myself will mean a smaller tip.

i can't say i'll miss hauling 5 empty mega mugs in each hand as i weave in between stumbling drunks armed with pool sticks and filthy compliments about how my hips sway.

never again will i be degraded for refusing a shot from a customer... and then convinced to accept it just to boost the bar's revenue.

gone are the days of ignoring facts about my manager and his relations with half the staff, in an effort to pretend like i had an ounce of respect for him.

and how i kept a straight face last friday when a crumpled 20 dollar bill was tossed my way by a man who wanted my attention just so he could brag about how little he has to work for his gross fortune... i will never understand... 

because here's the thing: i am no object or pet to toss a $20 at, who will retrieve it and come wagging and smiling for more. pre-pockets Stefanie would have gotten offended, tossed the money back in his face, and refused to serve him budweiser bottles. but something about being a self-supporting college student (with $20,000 in loans) in an environment that's constantly all about intoxicating customers in order to get the best possible tip... it's a recipe for a girl to act a bit out of character. i served that gruesome man a bottle every time he asked for one. and he tipped me an extra $5 every time.

this past weekend, i noticed these things that made me ashamed, and knew it was time to go.

because even though the tips i made in two days were enough to cover my rent for a month, nothing in the world is worth compromising my morals. i can appreciate the experience i gained in serving and the patience i grew for people. and i can honestly say there are some good people that i will miss. but an indescribable relief comes over me when i think about never having to clean another table covered in ash, wing sauce, sticky liquor, and someone's dignity.

and now, because i always have the perfect song for every situation: she's long gone, by the black keys