the settling, or lack thereof

so i've been stateside for a few months now, ambling along, trying to implement the things i learned abroad into the remnants of my old american lifestyle. it's been a struggle of extremes, but i am so grateful for it all. because i've learned that i just don't fit the way i used to---i am wholly and unapologetically changed.

since my return in september, i have gone from ohio to vegas to ohio to vegas to ohio and soon to vegas again (literally that many times). i've spent invaluable time with some perfect new friends, and reconnected with special people i hadn't seen in ages. i've experienced live music in the form of coffee shop singers, talented friends, a concert in cleveland, and a music festival in las vegas. i worked at anthropologie for all of one month, before quitting materialism, once and for all. i got rejected from a job for the first time in my life, because my resume showed that i travel too much. i planned a birthday surprise, visited family in kentucky, saved a beagle puppy, hosted dinners and game nights, and visited best friends in florida a couple times. 

i was terrified to return to the states for the first time after a year of living away, because i had a sinking feeling it would be really difficult. and it's been even harder than my fears predicted, but i've come out of it all more motivated than ever before. i've replenished myself on the love of friends who have such moving faith in me. and made my plans to leave again. IT'S ALL HAPPENING.

there might not be a place for me here just yet. which makes me think there's more out there for me to learn first. so i depart in a week. and will return again when the time is right.