the last time i saw amber was like a scene straight out of a movie.
it was my last day in st thomas and i couldn't believe i was finally leaving. amber had been begging me to change my mind and stay for weeks. because we'd been living together for so long it was hard to imagine life without each other. we were a married couple, but with a better relationship. our whole friendship felt like one long, never-ending bout of laughter. how would we ever laugh again?! we tried to pretend like the separation would never come.
so it was weird when my time on the island came to an end. that last day, we were both subconsciously stressed about it. i made plans to have a goodbye brunch with friends. it had to be at a specific time because amber had to work in the afternoon and i still hadn't finished packing (just call me last-minute-stef).
but of course, st thomas never makes it easy to get around, even when you actually have a car on hand. on the way to brunch, we ran into unexpected roadblocks and traffic galore thanks to Carnival festivities that week. and we seasoned travel companions let the stress of it all get the best of us in the car, mid-u-turn. we didn't even argue... we just both got frustrated with the situation--the immediate one and the one coming in a couple hours. we fell silent and it was so unusual. we never know how to shut up around each other! but in that traffic, there were no words.
after the brunch with our friends, amber had to go to work and i had to go home and finish packing before my flight. so we had our goodbye, but it wasn't the sort of goodbye you'd expect from two girls attached at the hip for almost 3 years. it was like an i'm-mad-this-is-happening-so-i'll-pretend-i'm-seeing-you-later sort of goodbye.
afterward, i put off going home and went shopping with sophie instead. haha, i know i'm terrible. but i'm so glad i did it! because after i walked out of the store and said bye to soph, amber called and asked where i was. we both apologized to each other right away. then she said she had a few minutes before her boat trip and asked if we could have one last real goodbye.
so we started walking toward each other and met up right in front of the cruise ship dock. when she saw me, she started running to me and i ran to her and we hugged and immediately burst into tears. i repeat: we met up right in front of the cruise ship dock... there were tourists all around us as we simultaneously cried and laughed and wiped our eyes.
then we sat on a bench facing the harbor for one last look together. we asked a tourist to take a picture of us and laughed about the irony of that. amber promised she'd email the pictures to me but SHE STILL HASN'T... HINT HINT. haha ;)
i'm telling this silly story because amber was initially planning on coming to Europe with me. but, i'm currently on my way to barcelona and she's not here. she found a happiness in st thomas that she's never known before, so she stayed. i am over the moon excited for her because, of everyone i know, i think she deserves that sort of happiness the most. that girl lights up my life. she's the best friend i've ever had. i've watched her blossom into this flawlessly beautiful human, inside and out. is it weird that i'm tearing up just thinking about it?
it's strange being without bambie right now, but i'm also incredibly grateful that i'm taking off alone. i can tell i'm in for a unique experience that can/will only happen if i'm on my own. i even have this whole new sense of bravery already, and the adventure has hardly begun.
as much as i miss amber and wish i could take her everywhere with me for comedic purposes, i can feel in my bones that everything is exactly how it's supposed to be :)